Do You Feel Broken

Sparkle and Shine
Do You Feel Broken?

By Joan Bender

Do you feel broken? Have you been trying to fix yourself to no avail? Do you feel torn, tattered, scarred, empty, weak, not good enough, not thin enough, not toned enough, not smart enough, not successful enough or just not like yourself? Have you tried everything to feel better? Have you seen one practitioner, who refers you to another, who refers you to another? Does one practitioner fix something, and then a new symptom appears leading you to a new practitioner? Have you sampled almost every medical treatment and alternative health practice? Do you analyze every feeling, sensation and symptom trying to understand, label and fix it?

Well, you're not alone. I meet many women like you. In fact, I used to feel broken at times too. If you've checked everything out, tried everything, and you continue to feel broken, try some unconditional self love. I know, I've probably just lost some of you. You're ready to scroll on down to the next article as you send a few choice words in my direction. Some of you are thinking how will unconditional self love help me with my real problem or illness?  

Unconditional self love is not always easy. It is loving yourself with no strings attached. It is loving yourself no matter what you look like, what you’ve done or not done. It is sending love to the painful, broken, microorganism infected parts of you that drain your energy and your Soul. Many of us can love ourselves until we do something that doesn't meet our expectations, and then we criticize and doubt ourselves once again. Self criticism wears us down, lowers our vibration, and makes us feel even worse. It causes anxiety, depression and overall distress that not only affects us emotionally, but also physically.  On the other hand, unconditional self love comes from a place of non-judgment. It fills in the cracks, strengthens, brings in light, and raises our vibration, making us feel whole again. While self love may not be the miracle cure, it is an essential and often overlooked, piece of the healing puzzle.

How does one move from a place of self-criticism to a place of self-love? One of my favorite strategies is to say the following phrase whenever critical thoughts come in, “Although I'm feeling (fill in the blank), I truly love and accept myself exactly as I am in this moment.”  If you find yourself doubting this statement, say it again and again until your critical mind quiets. If your critical mind argues with you, start pointing out all of your positive attributes. Always ensure that the positives have the last word, and if needed, write down all of the positive things about yourself. You can also write love notes to yourself, and scatter them all around. Slip one in your purse, your glove compartment, your planner, kitchen cabinets or anywhere that you can rediscover them. You can even send them through the mail. Send yourself some love, and love yourself to health.

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